“The First Lady Might Have to Choke a Bytch”
This made me laugh my black ass nearly off. This is from Slaus at the OhHellNawl! website.
Swedish born, Canada-raised Malin Akerman has a thing for the US president. The 31-year-old actress (27 Dresses, Watchmen) talked about her Obama love (lust?) in an interview with Esquire.
“I get sweaty palms when I think about him. He’s so supremely intelligent, and he’s a man. I just want to go in there and become a home wrecker. No, I really don’t.”
I tell her the Internet has pictures of a shirtless Obama vacationing in Hawaii. “I might have to have a little bathroom break. Change my panties…”
Then she is shown photos:
“Oh, my God. I really need to meet him and mess up his marriage. And mess up mine, too… Have you seen his hands? I’m sorry, but I’m a big hand freak, and those hands could wrap around you twice.”
Girrrrrrrrrl your ‘lil thin-thigh ass better be on the lookout, because not only would the First Lady put a most horrible stabbing on a bytch, but now you’ve got every sista in America and beyond waiting to Chris Brown the shyt out of you. Not to mention all the OTHER white women who have already put dibs on the homey.
You might wanna not get fugged the fugg up, baby girl.
Really, all comedy aside, Michelle doesn’t have much to worry about; the man is home all the time, has time for her and the girls. It’s really the best years of their marriage. Obama doesn’t appear to be that kind of man; he’s learned from the loss of his father, and the example of his grandfather. In his college years, though, it’s said that he certainly sampled vanilla as well chocolate…ice cream.
Malin Akerman is entitled to her lustful feelings, but for many heterosexual black women, the lack of powerful men in their lives–fathers, husbands–is fairly pronounced. Not just men who wield actual power, but men who are strong within themselves, and don’t use this power to destroy women and children, and other black men. They don’t need women as appendages, but as equal players or seekers in a shared dream or ideal. Barack Obama epitomizes this kind of a man for many black women and girls, far more than Martin Luther King, Jr. did for black females of another generation.
If Obama ever decided to cheat, however, he’d be losing a lot more than Michelle. Trust me. I think he knows this.
More than a few loose teeth.