Mo’Nique’s Brother Fesses Up on “Oprah”: I Molested My Sister

(If you wish to watch the entire interview, it is here at the Oprah website.

I’m always interested in the parents’ reaction to sexual abuse within families just to see whether there is any difference. Of course, my hopes get dashed because it gets into the usual: Mo’Nique ‘destroying’ the family, evidence of continuing denial on the part of the parents and the offending sibling(s), and the underlying suggestion that Mo’Nique is attempting to destroy her brother by publicly exposing the parents to disgrace. If Mo’Nique still has issues, it won’t be over until they all go into therapy about this. But many black people are leery of therapy, especially therapies that open up some deep dark family secrets. Then there is the inability and resistance of some family members–namely parents–to change, and ultimately this makes their black parenting values look bad.

Frankly, some of those parenting values are bad.

Then Gerald brought up the hitherto unknown information that he had been molested himself. By another family member or outside the family? He would not say, but I have the feeling that the perp was male. He also said that he had used drugs and alcohol. At face value, I didn’t believe this new information. It seemed like a bid for victim status. It may be for real, but at this point, I’m not even believing it yet after all of the years of denials and the “if I did something to you, then I’m sorry” half-assed apology he gave her a few months/years back.

He also cannot accept that he was “a monster” to his sister. Check: if he had been molested by someone else, wouldn’t he have felt that the perp was a so-and-so, too? Why is his rage and grief missing from this? Whatever in the world happened in jail with the other sexual predators? Didn’t that show him some sh*t that he might be wrong? He did admit that he had molested at least two people. Doesn’t he get it?

For Mo’Nique’s family, even though Mo’Nique interacted with her family with her usual love, everything was not lovely or right. Everything was not hunky-dory inside Mo’Nique. So was she faking it? Faking making nice? And why dredge this up again? Because they still don’t get it. They don’t seem to want to know that it is the crushing pressure not to pry open further the can of worms for the sake of “family” that makes it worse. It makes her the bad, nasty child who still feels responsible for the cohesiveness of her sainted family. To them, she’s messing everything up.

The Oscar winner exposed her brother Gerald as a teenage sexual predator last year (09) when she told the media how she tapped into the mind of cruel Mary Jones for her role in Precious, and the big reveal opened up a 30-year-old nightmare for her folks Alice and Steven Imes.

Appearing with their disgraced son, who confessed to inappropriate behaviour with his sister when he was 13 and she was eight, the Imeses told Oprah they thought the matter had been addressed when they temporarily asked Gerald to leave the family home after Mo’Nique told them her older brother had “tried to lay on top of me” when she was 15.

Alice Imes said, “I felt hurt for both of my kids… I let her (Mo’Nique) know that I believed her. I said, ‘Mo’Nique, I understand you don’t wanna go back (to) when it (sexual assault) was. Do you feel like, to clear yourself, you need to go and we can talk to someone other than myself, that you can cleanse and let this out.’ She said, ‘No mom, I’m fine; I just want to let you know that this happened.'”

Imes now regrets not revisiting the sexual assault with her daughter after banished Gerald returned to the family home – but she was hurt when Mo’Nique decided to go public with the family’s secret on national TV.

She added, “We have always been a close family… I wasn’t upset, but my thought was, ‘As a family such as we were, this is something I felt that should have been discussed first privately within the family. Now, if you wanna tell the world, but give us a chance (sic).

“My question is, ‘You are older now, we are older now, maybe as a family we can better understand what help was really needed.’

“I only hope, with doing this, this can cleanse her hurt.”

Imes also revealed she and her daughter hadn’t spoken for more than two years, and that Mo’Nique had “separated herself” from the family over another matter.

This hasn’t cleansed her hurt. Bet you it hasn’t. This is only the beginning.

I wasn’t exactly happy seeing Gerald’s younger brother’s creepy smiling. Whether he was smiling at Oprah or what she was saying, I didn’t buy his cover story to her, either. (Perhaps he didn’t want his brother to appear on the show, or that he too felt that Mo’Nique was calling attention to herself. Or, that he too thinks that Oprah hates men. That’s immaterial if Gerald was given a forum by a friend of his sister’s to explain himself.) I didn’t like Gerald indicating, in the audience, his spiritual adviser or pastor. Unless the reverend has training in psychology or social work as well as being ordained, he’s an enabler, in my view, of whatever Gerald does now and later. God may handle it, but god plus therapy makes sure that it is handled but good. So much support for Gerald. Poor Gerald. Us versus them. I don’t mind protecting a brother, but not this brother. Guys like him may indeed be good guys who want to reform, but I wouldn’t want my kids near him either.

Because Gerald Imes abused yet another young girl, but this time he was caught by law enforcement. He was sentenced to 12 years in jail. He now has a profession as a trucker, but he’s probably still listed as a sex offender. It is unknown whether he has ever married or has children himself.

Where is this going to go? Who knows? Mo’Nique refused to attend the show; seemingly she has washed her hands of her brother and her family for the time being. But therapy is warranted. If anything, though, it’s out there now. It wasn’t a figment of her imagination. It wasn’t a lie. It happened. And it helped her to become a better actress and hopefully, in the future, a better woman.

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~ by blksista on April 20, 2010.

 
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