Creflo Thinks He Should Never Have Been Arrested, Because He Didn’t Choke or Slap His Daughter. Here We Go Again…

Sorry, but I don’t believe him.  Especially when it turns out that he tried to pressure his daughters to change their initial statements to the deputies.

Of course, many church members are standing by their man; no change in that pattern.  At least, not yet.

Dollar’s congregation appeared supportive Sunday, giving him sustained applause as he took the stage.

“I don’t know the full specifics, but I’ve been going here seven years and I trust my pastor,” said Robert Hooper, a 27-year-old retail manager, as he arrived at church. “I know his kids. I know he loves his family. Everybody makes mistakes.”

But I still say, read the incident report.  While some reports say that the girl called in the authorities, others say that it was his wife, Taffi Dollar, who asked for them to intervene.  Additionally, the girl has reported that this was not the first time she had her father have had physical conflicts.

The daughter of megachurch pastor Creflo Dollar Jr. told a Fayette County 911 operator Friday morning that she felt “threatened” being in the house with her father, adding their alleged violent altercation was not unprecedented.

“It was not the first time it’s happened,” the 15-year-old girl said in an audio recording of the 911 call. The girl’s name and audio of the call are not posted because she is a minor.

Sounding calm and speaking directly, the girl said her father “punched … and choked” her.

Fayette Sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to the Dollar family’s home on Sandy Creek Road where, after a brief investigation, they arrested the 50-year-old reverend, charging him with simple battery, family violence and cruelty to children. Dollar was released on $5,000 bond later Friday morning.

Some may suggest that young Ms. Dollar’s dispassionate voice talking to the dispatcher may have shown a frame of mind bent on  revenge against her father.  But why does weeping have to come into play talking to law enforcement about what may be a case of domestic violence?  Do we know whether her sister or her mother was with her when she made those statements?

Naturally, Pastor Dollar is saying that the devil’s hooves are afoot.

Dollar said the incident was part of the devil’s plan to “discredit” his ministry.

“Malicious witnesses testify against me,” he said, reading from Psalms 35 in the Old Testament. “They accuse me of crimes I know nothing about … May those who rejoice in my discomfort be humiliated and disgraced.”

Oh, please.  This kind of chest-beating talk is walking straight  into the Land of Preacher Denial, or  Bishop Eddie Long Territory.   I’m a firm believer that sane human beings allow their devilish natures to arise and predominate from within.  The devil didn’t make him hurt his daughter.  His daughter may or may not have provoked him, but he was the one who allegedly put his hands on her.   He did bad all by himself.  And he knows better than that.

Kirsten West Savali over at NewsOne, who has worked in the mental health community, still says abuse is abuse and is never, ever, effective parenting, especially with girl children.

I understand “innocent until proven guilty,” but that has never been a completely accurate barometer of right and wrong — because truth is always subjective. Even if he’s found innocent in every court in America, I will continue to stand by my assertion that a grown man tackling his daughter to the ground, punching her and hitting her with a shoe is assault, not parenting. And if that behavior is considered acceptable in their household, it will affect her later in life, specifically in her interactions with men.

[…]

When I was in the mental health field and going into people’s homes, to the schools of at risk children or the jail, child abuse was a common theme. In my opinion, it has been ingrained as appropriate, specifically in Black households, and it is nothing more than lazy parenting. If you have to tackle your child to the ground, something is wrong in that household that choking just will not cure. More importantly, that is not instilling respect; it is instilling fear — two entirely different beasts.

Physical abuse was never used in my home and I never disrespected my father. I was disciplined, yes, but never hit. Men have to take extra care when dealing with their daughters and because of the respect my father showed me I have never let a man put his hands on me. Why?

[…]

Bottom line: Dollar, with his big, burly grown man self, decided to show a 15-yr-old girl who was boss; and apparently, the only methods he is equipped enough as a parent to utilize involve doing the exact same thing to his daughter as people would like to think she did to him, only with more force. What is the lesson learned, here?

Violence works, you just have to be stronger than your victim. More importantly, “Daddy hits me because he loves me, so when Johnny does it, he must love me too. And Tim, and Bill, and Chris…”

No matter how provoking that child was, or seemed to Creflo Dollar, he was supposed to be the adult in the room.   He cannot continue to go down to that level, whether or not she was mouthing off or venting her displeasure.  She also said in the incident statement that she didn’t want to speak to him.  I see this as not because she wanted to continue to hurt or to provoke him, but because she probably needed a time out to grieve and then calm down.   At any rate, such mouthing off  is to be ignored.  Trying to suppress her feelings will not make him any more justified in his decisions as her father.  Once he goes down that path in putting his hands on her, it gets worse.

Let us hope that there is nothing else going on between father and daughter other than the usual power struggles and growing pains.  If there is more, it will kill his ministry as fast as water going down a drain.

 However, I fear for this unnamed girl right now.  All the psychological games are in play at her home, now that this state of affairs has become public.  If  I were the Dollars, I would ask for outside assistance, with a minister who has a bona fide psychological degree or at the very least, is an LCSW working on family relationships.  Stay tuned.

~ by blksista on June 11, 2012.

 
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