Okay, Cue the Music: Kim Kardashian Gives Birth
I do not normally cover the Kardashians. They are the epitome of wretched excess, self-promotion and over-exposure. I’d rather cover the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I breezed by a couple of their shows, and the eye rolling, eye-cutting, receptions and parties, heavy make-up, pointless arguments and weaves were almost too much to bear. But the Kardashians—they are the spittoon of America. Self-absorbed, empty-brained, nit-picking over everything from cars to jewelry and from nails to hair, talking and parading (in and) about their products, when they really don’t have to do much except breathe. They occupy a different planet from you and me, but it’s an empty and vapid planet full of gold-plated things, sunny locales, and tables always set with food amid the pettiness and quarrels.
However, the word is coming onto Facebook and other social media sites. That after a labor that lasted from yesterday afternoon into today, Kim Kardashian gave birth to the expected infant girl some five weeks before she was due. No word yet on the name of the child. (One wag indicated that the Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William’s wife, was due about the same time as Kim on July 11, but that’s now going to be all Kate’s show. I can well visualize Buck House publicists and spin doctors breathing a sigh of relief.) No photos or videos were made of the birth that we know of. Yet.
She’s here! Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby daughter, a hospital source confirms to Us Weekly. The E! reality star welcomed the tot with beau, Kanye West, at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in West Hollywood, Calif. Originally due July 11, the star couple’s new bundle of joy arrived a bit early, and as a special (early!) Father’s Day gift for West.
“Kim had her baby,” a hospital source tells Us exclusively. “She’s five weeks early. Kim got sick last night and had the baby early.”
The source added, “They’re all doing great and amazing!”
Okay, I am not going to be the only one to wonder whether the birth was induced to coincide with Father’s Day for maximum publicity, or whether this woman had had it being preggers. It was a toss-up whether Kim hated what pregnancy did to swell her body, or whether she was upset about health scares and pain while pregnant. Of course, she was fat-slammed. (Word to you size-ist idiots, women gain weight when they are pregnant.) Everytime I saw her in photos, this woman was unhappy.
Hey, sister, join the crowd. Having a kid is not what you think that it is, and it differs with each woman. Kourtney may have enjoyed her pregnancy and anticipated being a mother, being low woman on the totem pole. But I swear, Kim should not have had a baby, especially a baby with a motormouth father like Kanye West who has recently called himself “Yeezus” after you -know-who. Again, I think Kanye should be in therapy, but whatever. This was for the cameras.
Besides the health scare (appendicitis), Kim told Us Weekly in April that it was difficult to adjust to all her body’s changes at first.”It was really hard for me to accept that the body changes, and I was having a different kind of pregnancy than Kourtney did,” Kim said of her older sister. “She made it look really easy, but ever since the baby started to kick I’ve really embraced it. Now I love being pregnant!”
During a recent interview with The New York Times, West, whose album, Yeezus, drops June 18, also revealed how he was embracing fatherhood, including the protection he already felt for his daughter.
“I would do anything to protect my child or my child’s mother,” he said.
Umph. Wonder what his mother Donda (rest in peace) would have thought about all this. I will say, I give him plaudits for being present for the birth, and for proclaiming after weeks of being missing in action at her side (also while she finalized her divorce from Kris Humphries), that this was his woman and his child. Now, let’s see how long this is going to last.
If people were wondering how and why in the world Kim Kardashian would be tripping about the changes wrought to her body, understand one thing. The Kardashian women are not exactly white American women, of largely German, Irish, Scandinavian, and English forebears. They are part Armenian (and also part Turkish). Their father, the late Robert Kardashian, who helped to defend O.J. Simpson, was Armenian (and they also have a soupçon of Native American ancestry from their mother). Guess what. Armenian women can get big when they get pregnant. You could call it a kind of throwback to how these people were back in the day, where their women were extolled in poetry and in song for being big-hipped, full-lipped beauties with thighs and rear ends to die for.
And that is what Kim Kardashian is known for on the webpages of black sites like Bossip: having a big ass, or in their parlance, “cakes.” She cultivated this magic behind as much as Jennifer Lopez did with Sean “Diddy” Combs and famously in a video with Ben Affleck. Kim’s rear was suggestive of an African behind that would attract and hold black men—and some white men—spellbound. Did Kim think that she was going to escape her destiny? That it was all going to be a “cake” walk?
I’m sure that things are going to start getting really interesting on the Kardashian shows on cable, especially when the baby is brought home, and also when Kim tries to get rid of the baby weight as she nervously keeps on eating. Will she breast-feed? She had better with those big breasts that have blossomed to feed her baby. Or she could use a pump. No doubt, Kim will have a wet nurse for her child, a luxury that far too few women can enjoy, especially for those late night squawling spells.
Far more importantly, there is the whole drama around Kanye finally marrying Kim. Is he really the marrying kind? Would he thrive within a life being recorded on video? I don’t think so. Her mother Kris Jenner suggested that the wedding will be private and understated compared to the Kris Humphries nuptials. However, there are no plans or a date set.
So, marriage, baby, losing baby weight, and eating and general health and well being. There will be some mess that will go down. Bickering, name-calling and scenes will constitute the circus everyone is awaiting.
However, I am not going to stay tuned. A circus is not reality, no matter what Fellini thought. And in reality, you work hard to get what you need. Maybe that’s the whole reason why reality shows are so popular. They’re an escape from working that hard and growing up.
- Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Welcome A Baby Girl – Congrats (hollywoodlife.com)
- Kim Kardashian Pregnancy Pictures: Dressing the Baby Bump! (myfashioncents.com)
- New Report: Kim Kardashian is in Labor! (beautelicious.com)
- Kim Kardashian Gives Birth To A Baby Girl (allhiphop.com)
- Kim Kardashian Gives Birth to Baby Girl (tmz.com)
- Congratulations! Kimmy Cakes And Kanye Welcome A Baby Girl (bossip.com)